Institutionalized, is that what I am? Institutionalized? It could be I think. I've been doing this trucking thing for so long that I don't think I would know how to act in the real world. Tim Robins and Morgan Freeman talk about this very subject in one of my favorite prison movies "The Shawshank Redemption". In the movie the two characters talk about why another character committed suicide after spending most of his life in prison and then being released just to find that he was unable to cope with modern day society. Is that what happens with us truck drivers that have been so removed from a normal life for so long? Will we be able to cope with modern day society if we were to suddenly find ourselves no longer traveling the roads of America and penned up in a world we no longer understand?
I know I'm scared. How do you even put in an application for a job any more? It seems like the last friend I knew that went looking for a job just found themselves going back home and getting on the Internet to place the application. Now how's that work? No face to face time with the perspective employer so you can at least put in a good first appearance. There are a lot of us old guys out here that do not even know how to turn a computer on. And what's this thing have some younger person looking over your shoulder to make sure your doing what it is you're supposed to be doing. I've made my own job and did my own thing my way for so long. This person should go dry the moister from behind their ears instead of looking over me.
And I just do not see how these people can breathe. Being locked in behind four walls like a caged animal just has never been a strong point for me. I've always been a self sufficient person that has made things happen the way I needed them to and now I have to play politics to make the boss happy. This is really going to suck. How am I ever going to make this huge change that I know will eventually come in my life? Will I be like the character in the movie and take the easy way out? I hope not. I like to think I could do better than that. But God's honest truth, it scares the heck out of me every time I think about life after trucking. What will I do to survive in this new world?
If I am one of the lucky ones, I will have time to adjust. Slowly work my way out and into normal life at a pace that will allow me to survive. If I'm not so lucky like others I've known, a trip to the doctor's office or a wreck will find me instantly standing on the street corner wondering what do I do now? It's something I find hard to think about but it's something that needs to be in back of every long time truckers mind. We are just not wired for life in the everyday world. We are strong self sufficient people and we will find it very hard I believe to make it in this new society that we have travel through but really not been a part of for so many years.
I'm proud of my life's work. I know that I have contributed to make our country a better place and the things I delivered over the years have giving comfort and saved lives all over this country. But the time to move along will surly come. Later then sooner I hope for me, but it will come. How will I survive in a world I know little about? Awkward at first I'm sure. But I'm me. I'll figure it out in just a little bit.
Jeff HeadLike Today's Thoughts?…. Don't forget to share or add me as your friend
-- Edited by Jeff Head on Sunday 8th of May 2011 04:25:06 PM
